Last year I bought a 20 something foot reindeer inflatable.
I don't know what I was thinking; but then again, I never quite do.
It was an epic hit.
Or at least in my book it was.
Que Charlie Sheen, "WINNING."
But then again, if you know the writer, aka me, I have had a lot of "great" ideas over the years...
So let's back up:
Year one, Rudolph was well behaved, and happy to have new home.
Stayed in place.
He looked important.
Regal.
Moreover, obedient.
Okay, anyways, fast forward to this year; my sweet Rudolph has been acting more like a Macy's Day parade float than the sweet lawn inflatable I originally purchased.
I personally think Rudolph has become a teenager.
Inflatables can be assholes like that.
Lord knows I have 2 too many miserable teenagers in my house already, perhaps Rudolph wanted to join the club?
Skibbidy.
I have found myself on more than one occasion wrestling this "thing" in my pajamas than I would like to admit.
I live on a busy street.
I know there have been many a commuter who have seen this ridiculousness.
I can only hope they laughed.
I know I would have.
And as comical as it may look, I have found myself wanting to puncture this thing and kill the Christmas spirit it "possesses" inside of it myself.
Yet, because I am an awesome person, I don't, and haven't.
Just kidding, I haven't done that yet because this so called "fun" inflatable has effectively, DEFLATED my own spirit.
But I am not dead enough to let Rudolph die on my front lawn, or face the house when he should be facing his public! (Sidenote: he likes to either lay down or face the house).
The only thing I can be sure of is that the neighborhood must be getting a good laugh at my spiritual demise...in my festive Christmas jammies no less!
Go big or go home.
See what I did there?
Yeah.
So save yourself and don't get an inflatable bigger than your house.
But if you do, send me pics!
Birds of a feather...
Are nuts...and you my folks, are my people...
Takes one to know one!
I also know now what it must feel like to be a sumo wrestler, while losing your matches publicly; in front of strangers who are merely just driving by trying to achieve real goals aka their JOBS and not get a 20 foot reindeer to stand straight up.
So have a holly jolly Christmas and Happy Holidays!
And keep that Eggnog handy!
You'll need it!
Or maybe that is just me.
Xoxo,
C.
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